Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Pay it upward

It was a dark and stormy night, back when I lived in Queens...

I heard a knock on the door in the middle of the night. The knockers were the cops. They were offering me a chance to keep my neighbor out of jail...

Apparently, the woman who lived below me had gotten drunk somewhere and had taken a cab home. When the cab pulled in front of the building, for some reason she refused to pay the cab driver. The cab driver wasn't having it. He called the cops.

When the cops knocked on her door, she again refused to pay the cab fare. Instead, she told the cops that the guy upstairs (ME) would pay it for her.

Important detail: I did not know this woman. AT ALL. Didn't even know her name. I have no idea why she thought I would come to her rescue.

The cops said the fare was $25, and that my neighbor absolutely was not going to pay it. They said that I could pay it for her, or else they were going to haul her to jail. Always fun to be awakened in the middle of the night by a bizarre solicitation for charity...

My theory is that when my neighbor asked them to bill it to “the guy upstairs," she was actually referring to GOD. The cops, being very literal-minded, took it to mean "the guy in 3F."

So thanks to this woman's drunken gropes at the divine, I wound up on the hook for $25. Guy Upstairs, why have you forsaken me..

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