Friday, February 17, 2012

Why there are no ugly babies

"OOOOOOO-h, he's adorrrrrrr-able!"

You've probably heard that there are no ugly babies.

Here's why: babies are showroom fresh and therefore don't exhibit any of the unsightly signs of age; no wrinkles, no ear hair, no gray hair, no liver spots, no receding hairlines.

Age is the ultimate cosmetic buzzkill, and is irreversible to boot. Babies haven't fallen prey to that buzzkill. This is why we are surprised when we see an ugly baby (and amazed when we see a decent looking older person).

As we age, we start accumulating the hallmarks of decay. So in a way, all of our efforts to counteract them are a way of remaining baby-like.

And once we realize there is nothing we can do to hold off this decay, we have a baby ourselves, which is as close as we can come to starting over.

There are no ugly tweets on my feed:!/greatMikePayne

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