Monday, June 17, 2013

Homegirls in Outer Space

If you can get through the following excerpt without laughing, you are a stronger man than I:

Major Milestone: 50 Years of Women in Space

Sunday (June 16) marks the 50th anniversary of Soviet cosmonaut Valentina Tereshkova's landmark 1963 flight, which launched her into history as the first woman to fly to space — only two years after Yuri Gagarin performed the first spaceflight ever in 1961.

As the author points out, the first woman in space was just two years behind the first man--the first HUMAN--in space. That's right: the first female entered space after suffering through a Godot-like two birthdays between her spaceflight and the spaceflight of the first person to ever have a spaceflight. After surviving that phallocentric delay I sure hope she received some reparation payments!

It is estimated that more than 100,000,000,000 humans have come into existence. Of that 100,000,000,000+ humans, only 534 have ever been in space, which means that EVERY TIME A HUMAN MAKES IT INTO SPACE IT IS A MILESTONE. No need to put an ethnic/gender cherry on top.

Because we live under a PC theocracy, every article is either a rumination on alleged victimization or a victory lap about the overcoming of an alleged victimization. And unless Twitter sparks a Maturity Spring, the PC Ayatollahs will continue to flog us with their inexhaustible inanity.

Space is the final frontier for political correctness, so expect a lot more of this. In the near future NASA will probably hold a symposium on renaming black holes. After all, associating the word black with something that traps light could reinforce negative stereotypes. Look for black holes to be renamed REALLY off-white holes.

My hunch is that the next big STOP EVERYTHING space moment will come when the first transgender person makes it into space. And when Sputnik/Sputnikole enters orbit, we'll be treated to the following line: "That's one small step for used to be a man..."

My Twitter feed is proof of proton decay theory:

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