Friday, September 13, 2013

Attila the Hun never had trouble getting laid

It is no secret that women prefer bad boys, and it is no secret they are surprised every time when bad boys let them down. Stop me if this sounds familiar: "I know he's a jerk, but he really rings my bell!" I'll let you fill in the rest.

Women pretend to prefer sweethearts to ruffians in the rough, which helps to explain why many guys make the mistake of pretending they're nice* (usually after all else fails) as a way of attracting women. Unless you're a great looking guy - in which case any approach will succeed - the nice guy act is almost certain to blow up on the launchpad. The kind of woman you want is exactly the type who won't go for a nice guy, and the chances of your nice guy act working with the general populace aren't high either. I weep for all the unsuspecting males who are poisoned by the disingenuous counsel of mothers and sisters on the virtues of being nice. Is it any wonder that prostitution is the only bubble market that never pops?

What few women get is that every functioning male has a sizable part of him that is nasty and animalistic, and it isn't difficult to tap into. All you have to do is offer mild encouragement, and some of that depravity will rise from the cellar to the penthouse. The question then becomes: are you Dr. Frankenstein enough to keep The Monster in check?

Women love to think they can change a man, meanwhile the only area where they can change him - nudging him toward scumbaggery - is the only change they don't believe is possible! Absurdity meet irony--and don't pretend you're nice or it won't work out.

Both men and women are more depraved than they let on, yet the parameters of the traditional courtship process still fence people in. Every trend in society - constant divorce, polyamory, the ubiquity of porn and its influence on contemporary sex - is a screaming red alert that the old ways are out of style - at least for now - but there is still a reluctance to admit "a guy I can introduce to my father" isn't what most women really want. At all.

If you are one of the few authentic nice guys, just adopt the bad boy trappings of the demographic of woman you desire - chains and sleeve tattoo, Mad Men overstyling, South Bronx urban get up, nerd gear (in which case you'll also have to gain twenty pounds around your midsection. Hey, not my rules!) - and ignore her texts one day a week without explaining why. Your life will change forever.

*Just as some women pretend to be demure in a scheme to attract men, though I suspect the percentage of genuinely demure women is higher than the percentage of genuinely nice men.

I'm such a bad boy I have the Twitter feed of a Hell's Angel with chainsaws for hands:

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